The Old Adjective!

So, my roots are real. I am southern. I have an accent. I am real. My child is smart. I am married to someone other than my roots. I have hesitation. So when I went to meet my husbands relatives I held back. I didn't want them to think I was dumb....hence honey boo boo child. I didn't want them to think all southerners, or those with accents, grew up in trailer park. I grew up in a house. A house shaped like a barn, a house my daddy built, with his hands, from the ground up! A house I knew. We never moved. The house is awesome! 3 bedroom (upstairs), 2 baths (upstairs), a full bath, kitchen and 2 living rooms downstairs. While I was there the other downstairs room was a "back room...junk room". Now that I am gone the back room is amazing. It is awesome what parents can do with money they save!!! The money before went to mine and my sisters education! My parents (Mama and Daddy) wanted us to have the best. THey went without so we could have. My daddy was a public school teacher. He cared. He tried very hard to teach the kids. He was a construction school teacher. They built a house every year. They sold the house to a fellow American. He was willing to help. The last year he taught, a kid set the ladder to fall. My dad was the next one down. I remember going to "help my Mama, pick him up" and him staggering to the door. I fell. I was young. Daddy clammored into the car and a "kid" told my Mama what happened. I remember listening. I was mad. I was heartbroken. I wanted to get even. We had to take him to the doc. How dare this kid do this??? To my daddy? MY DADDY? That was the last year my dad taught. I remember. My parents gave up for me and my sister. They paid for private school. My daddy was in the midst of public school in the county he taught but realized he wanted us to have the best (thanks Mama). I went to a private school. I learned. I struggled. Yet I never faultered! I love my parents for the struggle they endured. I know now that they did it for me. I struggle daily for my child. I want the best for her. I want her to strive. I want the best. So to those who want to challenge us...Good luck! Challenge taken! You will not win!!!

The New Happenings!

Once again, like a broken record, it has been a while. Our family has had so much going on! For the good! We are doing and striving so well in Tennessee!!! First off Mike is in refridgeration now! He is a manager of sorts. He is turning the plant around here. Big wigs are talking...people are talking. What did you expect?! I started working at the church, in the program Claire was in. God was calling and I answered. He wants me to work with children. I want to work with children. Anyway I decided to put in there. The resume was weird. I haven't had to fill one out or "work, work" in 5 years. Yes, being with Claire is WORK! But I haven't been on the clock or making any income in 5 years! Anyway I filled out my resume and got a call for the summer. They wanted me to be a teacher of 4 and 5 year olds. I froze! A teacher?! I simply thought a teachers aide. Anyway I accepted the challenge! I enjoyed it tremendously!!! I loved planning projects! Claire continued school through the summer since I was working! We went for like 6 weeks. (I was hoping to have a job this Fall but wasnt sure) Anyway I had a week and a half off from work, which included bronchitis). Mike and I decided to home school Claire for at least her Pre-K school term. The church also houses the "Faith Tutorial" which is home schooling with the exception of they meet with a teacher 2 days a week. Perfect! I work 2 days a week! Downstairs! Anyway, we signed her up for this program before I got a job or even applied. So she has to be upstairs, in her seat and ready to go by 8:30...I have to be downstairs and getting ready by 8:30. It's a win win! Although I am always rushed thanks to baby girl. Anyway this Fall season I have a class of 2 year olds. It is trying. I have one, who, it is his first year and his mom LOVES to linger....badly. But for the most part the kids crack me up and teach me daily!! I also teach/homeschool Claire at least 3 days a week. It is very handy since we can work at our own pace. But I also have to keep the house up and going, along with everyone in it fed...and bills paid and errands run. I also have signed up to cook for those families in the ICU at the local hospital (It is our churches MOVE initiative) along with doing some hair and doing a baby shower, and having breakfast with a very good friend. I have been a very busy lady! But I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Life is full and busy! Tennessee has been great! I can't complain! I hope everyone is good and that GOD is moving in their lives like He is in ours. Claire said the other night "Mama, I love you to the Heavens and back. I love Jesus!" I said "Wow, baby that is awesome!" She said "I love Him because He loves us all and gave His only life for us." Me "Yes baby He did." I might have shed a tear or two..... In GOD, Molly

God's Children

This past weekend was pretty busy for us. On Saturday we went and helped a couple clean up their yard. The husband is terminally ill and the wife has to care for him 24/7. They really can't afford to pay anyone to come and do their yard for them. I signed us all up. I think it is important for Claire to learn to help people out. That kinda stuff starts when they are young. We had an awesome time helping. Claire helped clean the Koi pond and she helped pick up trash. She kept asking "What can I do? I wanna help.". She was so sweet.

Sunday Mike and I volunteered to keep one of the Sunday school classes during the church service. The people who orginally were to take care of it has had family issues. Their dad is real sick and has been in the hospital. Anyway, the class just happened to be small. There were only 2 boys in there when we first went in. The Sunday school teacher told us that we may have one more child come in. He told us the little boy had a tumor on his brain and that they had to go in and operate and ever since then he has had speech problems and delays. I told him that it was ok and we would be just fine. The little boys dad brought him in and began to try and explain him. I cut him off and told him that it was ok and that we would take care of him. Here were two people trying to explain this wonderful little boy. We have a nephew with autism. He is an absolute joy and amazing. Not saying they were anything similar but we love them all regardless.

The other two boys started right off the bat. "He yells." "We don't like him." I told them "He is ok. We all yell. We love him regardless." They quieted down for the time being. I could tell the young boy was nervous. He was doing repetitve things, alone. He would watch the clock and look outside. He was incredible to watch. He was so sweet. Meanwhile the other two were loud, running and playing. They wanted to play the airplane game. The little boy came over and wanted to play. They quit playing so the little boy walked off. The other boys went over and were playing in the kitchen area like they were in a restaurant. Boy C came over and wanted to play. Boy B pushed him a little, grabbed what Boy C had in his hand and said "Go away. We don't like you.", he turned to me and said "Make him leave us alone. We want him to go over there." I then said "Ok, listen he can play with you if he likes. Be nice. He is just like you. He is brave. He is love. He is amazing like you are. We are all God's children." He then turned around and said nothing else. Boy C kept repeating "Be nice. Be nice. Be nice." The other 2 said "Ok see we can't understand him." Mike said "He is saying Be nice."

I thought alot about that little boy. What a struggle it is for him. He has to go about his daily life without being able to communicate like he wants to. How frustrating! He just kept saying 'be nice'. His older siblings came and got him early. I know they worry about him so much. My heart breaks for him. There is a lesson to be learned through the kids. We as adults need to quit the fussing, bullying and name calling. Our children learn from us. We should all learn to love all of God's people not just the ones that are like us or look like us. We are all different but we are all perfect in our own right. The world would be so boring if we all were the same, acted the same, looked the same and thought the same. We need to learn acceptance. I will be the first to say, I have a long way to go. Someone upsets me and I go off. I have to learn to do better.

*Disclaimer:: My child is NOT perfect. Matter of fact I heard her crying in the next room over. I went to see and she was upset because someone took a toy she either had or wanted so the teacher took the toy. I didn't go in, I just looked. She can have a massive attitude. But one thing we are working on and one thing I know is she doesn't judge on color or how smart they are. She has a lot of love. She is a work in progress. I know I am gonna be a better example. :)

Putting Money Where Your Mouth Is

Over the past year my family has moved, yet again, and built our lives from the ground up in a new community. I have met some really awesome people here and we have never had such a social life before. The people are welcoming like no other place we have been before.

Over the past year I have had some people say some pretty distasteful things about me and then I have others build me up again. I find myself dwelling on the nasty things said rather than the amazing things that have been said. Why do I do this to myself? I finally have realized that the people who say these things really don't know any better. What do I mean by this? It means they really don't know me at all. They have never bothered to take off their sunglasses and see the true beauty around them. They are aliens to me. I don't know them either, but not because I haven't tried. We all know that Satan is constantly at work destroying God's beauty which is you and I. If he can get one person to listen then the seed is planted. I'm working on not listening to the things I hear. They are called rumors for a reason. I just wish others would do the same.

One thing I do believe is Jesus Christ died for my sins, all of them. I am not perfect by any means but I do know I have a good heart and try and have the best intentions. I also know God loves me, "Just As I Am". He sends people into my life for a reason, good and bad. I will say that the ones that love me out weigh the ones that don't. So to those that love me, Thank You! To the ones that don't, it's ok I forgive you.

This past weekend was Easter. What an amazing time for every one, well most every one. I have thought a lot about it. I can parallel myself to Jesus to an extent but not really. We are completely different yet similar. He is a man without sin. I am obviously a woman with sin. He had people who loved Him, no questions. I have people who love me, no questions. He had people who loathed Him for no reason. I have people who loathe me for no reason. He gave His life for those that loved Him and those that persecuted Him. And then it stops there. Would you give your life for people who hated you? I know some soldiers that have but would you?

Anyway we did the Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday and we had an amazing Easter Sunday. We decided not to do an Easter basket for Claire. I know, I know how aweful. We wanted Claire to know what Easter is all about. It isn't about the commercial things that we associate with Easter. It is about the sinless man that gave His life for everyone's sins to be forgiven. For those that persecuted Him and those that loved Him. I think things are too commercialized these days. So instead we gave to others. We did however go out for ice cream.

So to those that have called me a hypocrite, heartless, lacking compassion and rude, I hope next time you call someone ugly names you get to know them first before talking. Just because I don't go around bragging about every little good deed I do doesn't mean I don't do them. It isn't for everyone to know, it's for my God to know. And thank goodness He knows my true heart! So while you went all out on the extravagent Easter baskets for your children I gave to someone else. God bless you all!

*Disclaimer: I'm not saying all of you that did the Easter baskets are horrible by any means! I just want Claire to know what the reason for Easter is and it's not the Bunny. And it's meant for those that need to learn what truth is and what rumor is!

You're so Vain

I woke up with this song in my head today. I replaced it with status, though, instead of song. I'm amazed daily by what some people will say or do. This year I have been working on me. In part of doing that I have deleted some people from my facebook. One person though seemed to take GREAT offense to it. Why? I'm not quite sure. This same person has ignored me via text or facebook for months. So why is it me finally deleting them in a literal sense as opposed to their figurative sense more damning? I'm not quite sure. But my feelings don't matter just theirs. They are right, I do have to live with myself and my true colors. But they also have to live with theirs. We are all humans and we all have feelings and faults. I think they haven't realized they have hurt my feelings for months by acting as if I didn't exist because if you ignore it then it doesn't exist. They just cared once their feelings got hurt. It also amazes me the hate some people have in their hearts. I may hold grudges or become disappointed but I don't hate. I don't have enough room in my life or heart for that. We are by all means, HUMAN! I'm just glad I didn't lash out like you did. I instead prayed about it and laid it on God. Not only do I pray for HIM to flow HIS everlasting love into your life, I also pray He stays in mine. Yes, I also pray for myself and I do acknowledge my faults and flaws. Guess what? God knows them all and He loves me all the same as He does you!! I could also lash out but I instead want to be a better example for our youth. They do learn by example and where do you think they learn name calling?! So I will carry on as an adult while others act like toddlers and kick off. I guess we all are pots calling kettles black. Just sayin.....

Aunt Linda

As I drove home to Tennessee I found myself reflecting on the past few days. The past few days turned into months, that turned into years. I have found that as I've gotten older, death is more profound. I am not saying the deaths of the loved ones before weren't profound, it's just now that I am older these people impact me more.

The first death I remember is my Papa. It broke me. I didn't understand. I was overwhelmed. I was 8. Over the next several years I lost loved ones. I was saddened by them all but I had more understanding. Now they strike me with an overstimulating way. I realize that I am getting older. I realize that my parents, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, husband, in-laws, and even myself will not last forever. I sit and reflect on whether my life has meaning. I sit and wonder if people will view and say things about me as I have about so many.

This past Friday this earth lost one marvelous, talented, brilliant and amazing human. I drove, thought, sniffled, and drove. One word kept coming to mind. True. Why?

She was TRUE in every aspect of her life. TRUE beauty. TRUE love. TRUE forgiving. TRUE Christian. TRUE lady. TRUE friend. TRUE mother. TRUE teacher. TRUE sibling. TRUE learner. TRUE daughter... I could go on for days. This wonderful woman had nothing but grace, class and beauty. You could go to her about anything and never receive judgement. Instead it was nothing but kindness and understanding. She wanted everyone to be themselves to their full potential. She was encouraging. She was true. There's that word again! She adored everyone for their uniqueness. She loved to have fun. She loved to listen. She loved to laugh. I could go on for hours, days, weeks, months and years about what class she exuded!

As I reflect I realize that I have had so many wonderful, loving, christian, and classy women in my life as examples. How lucky am I? I just hope that at some point in my existence I will strike someone as these wonderful women have me.

My Aunt Linda was extraordinary. If you never met her, you truly missed out! I think my lucky stars, GOD, for allowing me to know such a wonderful, true, loving woman!

I want to quote her from her letter she left all of her adoring fans. "" My surgeon in Atlanta, a deeply religious man, told me in January that healing was not only physical phenomenon, but a mental and spiritual process. He said to me very pointedly, "You have to forgive everybody." I had to think about this long and hard. We have all harbored old hurts that are hard to let go of. When my cancer first ocurred, it was as if the Lord were trying to get my attention, speaking to me about the need to reform some of my old attitudes and ways of thinking. But the doctors were so confident about my complete recovery that I didn't think about it very much, and brushed it aside. But in less than 2 years my unhealthy body heard the Lord speak again: "I didn't get your attention the first time, so let's see what your learning curve is!" Having a serious illness is life-changing. I have re-ordered my priorities and forgiven old grudges, and resolved to be a better friend, neighbor, and family membor. My illness has been a path to spiritual development. During this past year I can truthfully say that I have experienced no epiphanies, divine revelations, or deep spiritual insights. What I have experienced in abundance is the love of Christ through my family, friends and neighbors, including you.""

All I can end with is wow! What a extraordinary, marvelous, wonderful, and TRUE human being!

A Creed to Live by!

"Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with other.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life,
for without them life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers.
by living in the past, or for the future,
By living your life one day at a time,
you live all the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect,
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't dismiss your dreams
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only
where you've been but also where you're going.
Life is not a race,
but a journey to be savored
each step
of the way."

I think this is an awesome creed. I hope you all are doing great and know the Keene's in Tennessee are great!

Good Morning!

Good Morning world! What a wonderful day. If your wondering why, there is no reason in particular. I'm just enjoying and loving life. I woke up to the sounds of Claire walking across the house and her climbing in bed with me for some snuggles. I couldn't think of a better way to start any day!

I just want to say every day is such a precious gift. It is what you make of it, so make it a glorious day! New Year resolutions are going well so far. I have something much stronger on my side this year. I am going to try and do better with my blog. Yes, yes I know I say that often but I am really going to try.

Motto for this week and well the rest of the year: Find optimism in the darkest of places.

Have a wonderful week everyone!

2011 How I like thee or Don't.

2011, How do I remember you? I remember you starting out great, many trials in the middle, and you ending fantastically! Our family went through a trial that lasted for what seemed like most of the year but honestly it may have lasted 2 days if you think of it in universe terms.

The end of the year brought many changes for our family. Mike got a new job in Tennessee, we moved and we have truly found our fit. We have truly been blessed. I have never fealt God move through our house or our souls like he has the past few months.

Let me back up for a minute. Mike nor myself have gone to church as a family. Mike had a lot of resentment from his childhood and my excuse is not great either. Well when we first decided to take the move to Jackson I began looking for preschool's for Claire. I sent several emails and the first response I received was overwhelming. The director was incredibly nice and helpful. I received others but my heart pulled me back to the first response and this lady. Wow what a nice LADY! I continued to have contact with her until we were settled in our new home. There was a little boy who was transferring with his family to a new home in North Carloina so that left a slot for Claire, right when we needed it! The first day of school for her, she walked right in, no reservations (unlike the daily struggle at her old school). Her teacher, the greeters, the staff were truly amazing! Claire was so very happy every day. I remember picking her up one day and once we were in the car I sat and cried. Not sad tears but tears of pure happiness. I had been so worried about her and moving her. I prayed and I prayed.

The preschool director told me about a pancake breakfast for the preschoolers and their parents so they could meet one another. I bought our family a ticket and informed Mike we were going to attend and told him how I fealt like we needed to go, something...something was pulling me. We went to the pancake breakfast the following Saturday. Another young couple took seat next to us at the table. THey had a little red-headed boy. We talked. The husband had the same job title as Mike and the wife is a counselor. They invited us to come to church the next day and Sunday School. Mike and I talked about it and we decided to go. Wow what an awesome decision! We have been every Sunday since with the exception of Christmas day. I have enjoyed it tremendously!

So to 2011, thank you for being you. For bringing us through the trials and to God. I find myself smiling and loving life even more. I breath instead of fussing. I love more. I have even ordered myself a Study Bible. So thank you God and West Jackson Baptist Church. What an awesome thing.

2012, you have big shoes to fill, but I KNOW you will be awesome. I know this because I have never been better. I am a strong woman, mother, wife, daughter and friend. I have plenty I need to work on within myself. So 2012 here's to us. I promise to work on me. The inside mostly. I also promise to know my God better. I will continue to be all the things I already am but I will make it better. And like our interim preacher said "It's ok to pray for yourself. Don't just pray for everyone else. It's in our Bible. It is ok." God's word, our Bible. :)